The Pull Apart

With curiosity I took the personal values self-assessment. Weeded the sixty-six words down to ten: compassion, continuous learning, creativity, enthusiasm / positive attitude, ethics, excellence, humor / fun, initiative, making a difference, personal fulfillment. Just for kicks, I forged ahead with the self-development worksheet, selected my top three values, tackled the 3 simple questions and… it got real, it got raw.

VALUE: Making a Difference

  1. Why do you believe that this value is important to you?  “It’s how I show results for my effort.”
  2. Recall a moment in your life when you really lived this value. What behaviors did you exhibit that support this value?  “Felt good in my heart. Focused AND anxious with constant doing / striving.”
  3. How might you react if this value was not being honored by others?  “I would think that they are lazy, unambitious, unorganized and are going to waste my time.”

THE PULL APART… One of my top values was a double edged sword. Feeling good about myself was fleeting, linked to the shifting goalpost of accomplishment. A continual anxiety-filled cycle of next, bigger and better, repeat. Is this the real goal?

Three Christmas’s ago, my amazing sister gifted me a photo of us as kids. This image epitomizes my childhood. The warm day was perfect for endless hours of messing in the mud. Doing for the sake of doing with nothing to prove. Living from a space of being versus accomplishment. Engrossed in the moment with complete joy in our hearts.

THE REAL DEAL… The raw truth is that “making a difference” is my trump card. Nobody can question my value if I show results for my effort. Self-reflection then begs to ask “Why do I have my self-worth tied to accomplishment?”

Hic Et Nunc

Whether I accomplish or
whether I do not…
I here and now accept being
unconditionally loved just as I am.
Nothing to prove.


2 Comments Add yours

  1. shaitung says:

    Powerful self assessment. We are taught to tie our self worth to achievements. Yet, with a more optimal and thorough process of living, the achievements are simply the byproducts of a life well lived instead of the reward for positive behavior. When we live in a good flow process, happiness is a part of everything we do, everything we experience, and everyone we touch. Your words and self observations ore greatly appreciated. The smiles in this picture are truly worth a book’s worth of words..

    Liked by 1 person

    1. notebynora says:

      So clearly put! Love “simply the byproducts of a life well lived”. Thank you for taking the time to share your powerful insights. Blessings!


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